Happy Women’s Day–10 Ways to Be a Powerful Woman–Can you name more?

House Yoga--You Are Your Spaces. Making simple changes to them will help you change your life for the better.

What does it mean to be a truly strong, happy woman?

Do you know what it means to be a strong feminine presence?  It seems that to be able to define this as women we actually NEED to have men around.  (See below for Feng  Shui’s take on it.)

It seems that no matter how I tried to frame it growing up in my Boomer generation of burning bras and announcing our equality, we are just plane different…but that’s not the important part.

What I wanted to know is how to be a powerful version of woman.

Here are few things I have discovered…can you think of more?

  1. Honor your beauty–you are beautiful.  
    1. Learn to accept a compliment and let it roll around in your beautiful soft inner being.  Women need to feel they are beautiful, powerful women know it, powerful men delight in it.   Check out this excerpt from  Women Who Run With The Wolves, Clarissa Pinkolas Estes.
    2. Discover what it means to be a woman:  Secrets and Pleasures of Being A Woman, by Denise Linn, reveals how we can activate our inner strength to become the magnificent and glorious version of ourselves awaiting discovery.  This wonderful journey helps each woman understand the mysteries within our being…mysteries that are accessible and beautiful.
  2. Access and follow your daily intuition, through mediation or stillness 
    1. The feminine inside each of us has a powerful component:  we need connection, to our self, our source, the cycles of earth, the rhythms of life, those around us, our heart’s desire, name it.  Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, you need connection to something greater than yourself.  Your intuition is one of those things that is greater and will also lead you to the right people, places and experiences for YOU.  
    2. Powerful wisdom lies within you; sometimes it’s stronger sometimes its so subtle we dismiss it but it’s always correct.  Follow your intuition and you will develop a stronger and more pure connection that will never let you down.  If you didn’t follow it, (say you didn’t go left when it told you to, or you didn’t make the purchase if incorrect, just notice where the message came from and next time act on it
  3. Forgive.   Let it go, start fresh each new day is truly only a new day if you let it be so.  Forgive yourself, forgive your parents, forgive the earth, forgive God, forgive your past lovers, your siblings…let it go, cut yourself a break.  Try Ho’o Ponopono.  Email me for an easy script that has changed my life and the lives of millions so that they can have a new day and be happy, finally!  As Gary Chapman says “I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.” ― Gary ChapmanThe Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (life, self, friends, etc.)
  4. Develop your interests and talents; follow your heart’s desires as they are the message from deep inside you of what you are supposed to be doing, even if it sounds silly to the outside world–go for it and live your life.
    1. Learn about yourself from as many aspects as possible.  I highly,  highly recommend:  Strengths Finder 2.0   Take this test and you will be amazed.  Check out my post about it here.
    2. Learn your Nine Star Ki to discover which colors, shapes and people support you and surround yourself with ones that do.
    3. Another great book I recommend:  The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, Ph.D.  (Thank you Laura Fisher!)
  5. The Company of Women Seek out and develop your connection with the wisdom of women of all ages in your life
    1. make friends with women, listen to them, allow them into your heart
    2. ask older women for their advice — ask younger women for their wisdom too!
    3. show girls how to connected to themselves and nature and men in a healthy way
  6. Accept help, Allow others (men and women) to help you,  Ask for what you want.
    1. In her funny, insightful and easily read book, Making Sense of Men, Allison Armstrong explains that it’s up to us and how we understand ourselves and men that determines if we will experience a life of manipulation or  if we will open ourselves up for love, care and attention of all the men around us.  You NEED to read this book, I loved it.  Women need to be loved, men need to be respected (and tickets to the World Series).
    2. Resist the urge to do it all yourself;  not only seek out the company of women but allow the men in your life be a part of your life, to give to you, ask them their advice, “I need help making this decision and I trust your clarity.”  Even if you can do it for yourself, resist sometimes.
  7. Discover your “Love Language.”  How do you perceive love and how do you give it?
    1. This is not only for a romantic relationship, but makes all relationships more enjoyable because you understand better how you receive love.  If you are expected one form of love and whomever you are relating to is giving another, you both are missing a valuable expression of personal giving and personal receiving.
    2. According to Gary Chapman, the 5 ways to give and receive love are:
      1.  Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving gifts. Discover yours: check it out here
  8. Care deeply for yourself 
    1. In all ways, it’s important for both genders to care for all aspects of ourselves.  Take time to care for yourself  which allows you to be more centered and powerful in the expression of your wonderful female nature.  Make your bathroom a spa experience, buy yourself wonderful sheets and undergarments because they feel good.  Buy yourself some flowers, take yourself to dinner.  What used to be called pampering is now recognized as responsible self care:  a pedicure is more than just pretty feet, a massage is a healing experience, dinner and candlelight for yourself honors the beauty of you.  Take time to be alone and discover your beautiful connection with all of life around you.  Can you actually BE with yourself?
  9. Laugh
    1. I notice that when I am smiling, it looks like I am 15 years younger, especially when I don’t have my own glasses on. (cue: laughter)    Laughter has myriad health benefits not the least of which is that it makes you magnetic to life and more joy around you.  Laughter is life force…take yourself lightly.   Norman Cousins, Harvard Professor, chronicles how he cured himself of ankylosing spondalytis in his book Anatomy of an Illness.  Check it out.
  10. Spend time in Nature
    1. We call the life force and intelligence of our planet, Mother Earth.  A container for all that is receptive and brings forth life, spending time in nature connects us to our own feminine nature as well.

The Feminine Principle in Feng ShuiYin Yang

In a three letter word, the feminine principle is:  YIN.  A concept that is not just the opposite of male YANG qualities of outgoing, upward moving,  fast, direct, etc. but cannot exist in isolation or as a single entity.

There’s a saying in Feng Shui:  “The bigger the front, the bigger the back.”  One cannot BE without the other.  Just like it takes two hands to clap, we genders need each other and need to celebrate ourselves and other.  We rock together!

If it means that you must actually show up as the feminine principle — then, by jove, let’s figure out exactly how to show up ladies! Enjoy your girl-ness, love the other, honor all life and keep your heart open and always connected to your true, beautiful desires.

YIN is like the sea and the wind (feminine) that holds the ship (masculine direction): YANG.   Both together create balance, one cannot be without the other, ends of the spectrum that complete the cycle, and if you look at the Yin/Yang symbol of T’ai Chi, you’ll see that within each is a piece of the other.  Quite beautiful actually but what does that all mean when we are in a relationship?  How do we actually relate to ourselves and posture our behavior to foster healthy relationships with the other gender?

I am still learning and looking for models of strong, feminine grace and love and there are many.  I offer gratitude and homage to all the women and men in my life and in the world who really love themselves, show up as strong women, and love the men in their world for all the roles we each play and the differences we are.

Women and men: Can you help me?  Can you fill in the blank here:

A strong woman ______________________________________________.

Thank you!


Leave a comment

Filed under Life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s